just keep swimming

awww these cups are so cute (:

i was looking all over tumblr for something i could use to tell my story, because i like having a picture with my story LOL. so today. i made a friend! haha. we were talking about people, and how i feel lonely a lot of the time and lunch, and she said she felt like that too, because of a certain girl. we were just randomly having a deep conversation. the bell rang and we both realized we had so much more that we should and want to talk about, or at least i felt that way and we were like “we have to talk again! maybe next week? yea? yea! (:” so. yea. i looked for this picture because it reminded me of her. i never realized we had so much in common. so weird how you can bond with the most randomest of people. and i didn’t know i could be so.. comfortable with her. she’s usually a quiet and shy girl, and i guess i kind of am too, and i don’t know, the conversation just went so smoothly. i don’t have a lot of friends i can do that with. only like her, anne and maybe michelle. my other friends, i have to make an effort so that there’s no awkward silences and such. wow. it feels good to have your feelings out there. i love tumblr. 

“i love you but don’t know what to do”

i would say that’s exactly in the position i’m in right now. i don’t know whether we could work or not, or if i’m just bothering him. maybe i’m over thinking it? but i don’t really think he could ever possibly like me.. but why not? maybe?……

that is how my head is bubbling up with thoughts at the moment. maybe we’re better off as friends? i think i think i think.. i don’t know. 

what do i really think….

i like him to the point where if he’s more happy without me, i’m fine with that. but i just don’t want to give up if there’s a possibility where he might like me and due to misunderstanding we don’t have a relationship. i really just want to go up to him and ask “do you like me? because i’m dying to know.” but that would be really unreasonable, right? i want to confess, but from my past experiences, it’s never turned out so well. so what should i do. i want to get over this stupid mess and get on with my life haha. but my heart won’t listen to me, as always. i think i’m going to go up to him and say “can you do me a favor?” and he’ll be like “hmm? what is it?” and i’ll say “can you say this to me?” and he’ll be like “say what?” and i’ll say “i..dont..like..you” LOL just kidding, that would never work. egihgnsdfnegr that would never work. i wish i could talk to someone about this. i’m glad i’m seeing anne tomorrow <3 teehee.. but i feel like i should talk about someone who actually knows him, because she doesn’t really know him, only through pictures and such. ASDFGFDSASDFG

(Source: ejrxo)

recently, i think I’ve been depressed. not in the way that i want to kill myself or whatever, just not being happy with what i have. i think that i should be more positive about a situation, reflect it, learn from it, and like myself. i don’t think i like myself enough haha. sounds weird, but when you like yourself, you like others more. and when you like others more, you want to serve them more. but first, comes Jesus of course. i have to remember how much i have rather than focusing on the little things that i don’t have. yea, i haven’t posted for a while haha. 

(Source: mystandards)

i wish this were true. in our screwed up society, people judge you by anything you do wrong and mostly by your mistakes.

“did you hear about that guy? he cheated on my friend. i hate him”. “that girl is weird. she’s way too loud and obnoxious.” 

i heard those statements all the time. “do not judge, for you too, will be judged.” we have absolutely no right to judge others. so when i am in a conversation where i can’t really get out of and someone bring on gossip about another person, i try to say something nice about that person. like “maybe she was forced into that situation..” or if i can’t think of anything.. “everyone makes mistakes”. we all do. i’m so glad i have faith in Jesus that he’ll heal me of my sins. he loved me even though i made so many mistakes and he still cares for me and has an amazing plan for me. well. yea. sorta off topic there, but yea (: i hope for a world where no one looks at another and instantly thinks badly of them. i have to work on it too (: i really don’t want to go to school tomorrow ): good night my invisible followers~

(Source: beautifulquote)

just need to remember this because of the stress i’m having right now (: 

(Source: addiction-can-be-sweet)

tumblr. 

my home (: well i don’t have really any followers or anything, but it’s really nice to vent out on a blog like this, just to get your emotions out. for me, typing is a whole lot nicer that writing it out physically, because it’s faster and it’s neater x] and it showed me that a lot of people have the same problems as me, and that i am not “forever alone”…. well we are all together forever alone LOLOL.. but still, i always thought that i was weird because i had these things that bothered me or made me happy, but i found out that a lot of people blogged/reblogged about things that i was like “woow, i have this in common with… 100,000 people!” which made me less unique in a way? but it still felt good to have the whole world of people on the internet feel the same way as me. empathy maybe? like on facebook, i can’t really relate to post like “i ate a sandwich”, but i can definetly relate to people who talk about relationship problems or their stuggle with certain aspects that i too, have problems with. anyways, no one cares, so i’ll continue on to my next post!! 

(Source: tumboner)

i’m going to try to be happy from now on. not hating or worrying, living simply, giving more and expecting less. 

(Source: fearlessknightsandfairytaless)

holds very true for me.

i don’t think anyone, besides my own family, knows that i cry very easily. a sentence can crush me down easily… i would write more, but no one really cares about it, so why write it? i’ll write it to Julia, my journal at home who no one will read until after i die, hopefully. 

(Source: iheart-photos)